Understanding Spiritual Bypassing

In healing work, we often reach for the light. We seek peace, love, and higher understanding. These are beautiful intentions. But sometimes, in our effort to stay in that light, we unintentionally bypass the very pain that needs our attention.

This is what we call spiritual bypassing: using spiritual language, ideas, or practices to avoid uncomfortable emotions, painful memories, or unresolved trauma. And while it often comes from a place of hope and protection, it can actually stall—or even complicate—the healing process.

What Is Spiritual Bypassing?

The term was coined by psychologist John Welwood, who observed that many people on spiritual paths were using their beliefs to sidestep deeper emotional work. It’s what happens when someone says, “Everything happens for a reason” in response to real trauma, or avoids conflict by insisting we “just send love and light.”

These sentiments aren’t inherently wrong. But they can become defense mechanisms—a way to stay safe, rather than get real.

Common Signs of Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual bypassing is often subtle. Here are a few ways it can show up:

• Avoiding anger, grief, or fear because they're seen as "low vibration."

  
  

• Using forgiveness as a shortcut by skipping the real work of processing betrayal or hurt.

  
  

• Dismissing the body’s messages with “I'm not this body, I’m a soul.”

  
  

• Over-identifying with being “positive” or “high vibe” while suppressing anxiety, depression, or insecurity.

  
  

• Avoiding relational accountability with phrases like “That’s your projection” or “You create your own reality.”

These behaviors can appear polished on the outside. But inside, there's often a disconnect between the self we present and the parts of us still needing acknowledgment.

Why It’s Harmful

Spiritual bypassing can get in the way of genuine healing. When we label emotions as “bad” or “unspiritual,” we exile important parts of ourselves. This can lead to inner fragmentation—and often brings more shame, guilt, or fear instead of resolving it.

It can also impact our relationships. When we bypass someone else’s pain with spiritual platitudes, we close the door on real connection. Sometimes, we even reinforce harmful dynamics or ignore systemic realities that demand grounded, present engagement.

A More Integrated Path

Healing requires presence. And presence means being with what’s here—even when it’s messy, uncomfortable, or painful.

This doesn’t mean abandoning your spiritual practices. It means letting them support you in staying with reality—not escaping it.

Some tools that can help:

• Parts work offers a compassionate space to explore inner pain and conflict.

  
  

• Mindfulness helps us observe emotions without judgment.

  
  

• Breathwork grounds us when emotions feel overwhelming.

  
  

• Shadow work help us reconnect with what we’ve pushed away.

  
  

The invitation is to move toward integration, to let your spirituality embrace your humanity, not silence it.

Moving Forward

If you recognize patterns of spiritual bypassing in yourself, it’s not a failure. It’s awareness. It’s a sign you’re becoming more present with your full experience.

Here are some questions you might reflect on:

What emotions do I find hardest to be with?

Are there spiritual phrases I lean on when I’m feeling overwhelmed?

What would it feel like to be radically honest—with myself and with others?

Healing isn’t linear. And it’s not always light-filled. But it is real. And in that realness, there is deep freedom.

If you’d like support integrating your spiritual practice with your healing journey, I invite you to schedule a session. Let’s talk.